Connecting the Points

I've been on WeightWatchers for four days and I've already learned something important. I am a sugar junkie. Once I start, I can't stop! I cannot be a recreational user of sugar. Tonight I had an ice cream sandwich (3 points) and now I can't stop obsessing about what I should eat next. Last night I had a weight watchers ice cream, which led to four Snackwells cookies. I added up the points from 5 Halloween-sized candies a few days ago and it added up to 9 points! Almost half of my daily allowance gone in about two minutes. If I can stop binging on sugar I can lose this weight.

I suppose I could save up all my extra points so that I can continue to eat diet sugar, but, then I can't ever eat good food. Like the stuff that Ty cooks, or out to dinner without worrying about going over. Not to say that I haven't been eating good food. But, not like super good buttery, cheesy food. I've been eating whole foods cooked in healthy ways. Very responsible foods. Infinitely better than Nutrisystem foods, and therefore foods that have infinitely better shot at follow through. But in order to binge on pizza or bbq or wine, I can't be binging on sugar. And in order not to binge, maybe I just need not to start. Perhaps I am a sugarholic.

And I suppose I could exercise in order to continue to eat too much sugar. But since I hate exercising, this does not seem like a workable solution. A little bit of exercise goes a long way for my morale, but unfortunately makes my waistline go a long way too. I've tried to like exercising for the sake of exercising, it just doesn't work for me. I hate it. I dread doing it. I like doing stuff like biking, paddleboarding, hiking and walking, but at a leisurely pace, and that does not burn sufficient calories to negate all my sugar...as evidenced by my overweightedness.

So if all I have to do is lay off the sugar and then moderately watch what I eat so that one day a week I can not watch what I eat at all...this might be the solution. Writing about this has also helped ease the craving. Is this what is meant by coping skills? Hmmmm. Let's see if I can slim down using this theory. I have to remind myself that I want to slim down more than I want a shitty Snackwells devil's foodcake cookie. Or a KitKat. Maybe a good piece of chocolate is allowed on free day, or a well-made dessert, but at this point I have to cut myself off like the sugarholic I know myself to be. Fuck that sucks.